Don’t Like Mondays….just like them Boomtown Rats !

Posted: October 12, 2010 in Recovery

Don’t Like Mondays
Boomtown Rats

The silicon chip inside her head
Gets switched to overload
And nobody’s gonna go to school today
She’s gonna make them stay at home
And daddy doesn’t understand it
He always said she was good as gold
And he can see no reasons
‘Cos there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be show-ow-ow-ow-own?

Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
Tell me why
I don’t like Mondays
I wanna shoo-oo-woo-woo-woo-oot the whole day down

As a child of the 70’s….I loved that song……

Monday’s are shitty days aren’t they ? The hit ratio of it being a crap day are pretty high.

By means of the program, I came to realise last night, that my Boyfriend Bashing Blog of yesterday had more to do with a common ACOA feeling of resentment. Sitting down discussing resentment for an hour or so, I was surprised at how much resentment I apparently still carry.

I was mortified that I had an on-line resentment rant. I thought perhaps I should log in late at night and delete the entire post.

But…..this is a blog about my “keep it real” emotions as they are. To save myself embarrassment by deleting my tirade would defeat the point of having a true-to-self blog.

I feel very “put down a peg or two” that I am not such an oldie in the program as I thought I was.

Remain humble, Diddy. You ain’t got life sorted yet old girl.

During the week, I had looked up “irritable” in my daily readings. Nothing. “Dissatisfaction”. Big zip. I was a tad confused as to why there was no references.

The word I should been looking up was resentment.

Resentment for me…..is dissatisfaction with my own life….but blaming others. To be in a state of bitterness. That life would only be so much better if so-and-so got the hell out. The other people are interfering with my happiness. I can only think that this is such an easy emotion to fall into as it is a pattern of my past. A very familiar state of being. As a child and teenager, I resented my alcoholic parents for 11 or more years. It is a disease of the soul. Thinking of how great life would be when I was free.

Character Defect no 1 – Resentment

In my mind, one of the backbones of the program is gratitude. Something that I have not always had heaps of naturally. It has to be a conscious effort. Which is why I suppose many many therapists suggest the infamous gratitude journal (yes, I have one……it’s abit dusty).

The arch enemy and total opposite of gratitude is resentment. How can I feel grateful if I am sour, bitter and blaming? I can’t !

If I am unhappy with a certain situation that may lead to resentment, I need to change things in a healthy manner.

This morning….the sun was out for the first time in days. I feel grateful.

I know resentment will not just go away without work on my part. It’s an old faithful friend that has given me the enormous energy and personal resolve to get out of bed plenty of mornings and live my life regardless goddammit (I’ll show all them arseholes).

I am hereby declaring Monday a free-for-all-shit-day. Any unwanted emotions may be freely expressed on said crap Monday.

It’s a rubbish day anyway. Just as well use it to it’s full advantage.

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Comments
  1. julz says:

    I loved that song until I realised why it was written. Changed it for me forever. Love your blog.

    • diddy says:

      I seem to recall it was about a girl shooting fellow students because she hated Mondays ? I shall google it of course.
      Thanks for the “love your blog” !
      D
      x

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