Bottom line….

Posted: January 19, 2011 in Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Oh woe is poor little me

Right. So the bottom line is. I am pretty moody, pretty irritable, riddled with anxiety and don’t really understand why because my life is pretty damn OK.

I cannot go to Dr Cool to talk about medication because I don’t take the stuff already prescribed properly so I need to put on my responsible- big- girl- pants and take the stuff every day. So …. I need to wait perhaps 3 weeks for the meds to take their proper effect.

<I have been on meds since I was 24 until 41 with very little time off. You’d think I’d have got it by now !>

If I went to Dr Cool now, it would be like turning up at a Weight Less meeting with 12 slabs of chocolate and the evil dark stuff all around my chops and asking why my arse won’t fit into my jeans !

So it will just be a waste of my R220 to visit the GP right now.

A step in the right direction is to take my poision and go to a meeting.

An example of my irritable ways:

Picture the scene. 6:45am.

Diddy needing to be in car by 7am with clean <why do tweenies hate shampoo and soap ?>, clothed and packed Daughter Dear with no makeup (do NOT ask!) Diddy still naked with wet hair and 15 minutes to go to ground zero. Porra standing in front of his wardrobe doors with a vacant “help me” look on his mug.

Porra – “oh no. I have no work jeans” <looks helpless>

Diddy – <in a sarcastic grumpy voice>. “There is one pair in the wash that you put there last night (I only know this from putting my own dirty laundry on top) <grrrrrrrrr!> and one pair hanging  <grrrrrrrr!> ON-THE-LINE-OUTSIDE !”

Porra – “thanks. Why you in such a bad mood ?”

Diddy – “I CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW A GROWN MAN CANNOT KEEP TRACK OF HIS OWN JEANS !!!!!!!!!!”

I admit that last night I had a BIG glass of red wine and half a slab of dark Aero (thanks K!) after an interesting Sectitional Title AGM (I can only describe one of the attendees as “spitting mad” I thought she was going to have a heart attack).

And you know what. I feel better for it (the wine and chocolate that is, not the spitting mad granny and AGM). One should not restrict oneself of chocolate treats if you are feeling moody and mizz.

Since my “I don’t want to eat dead animals” resolution 1 January…..I’ve had no meat and no chocolate. 19 days of no chocolate people !!!!!!!!!!!!!! (this excludes birthday cake !)

Chocolate should be compulsory for any females with depression.

I’ve decided to draw up a family tree for my next post. As my parents – and all their offspring sprung from their loins and the loins of various others – are so confusing for anyone not related.

<Nom. Nom. Nom. Bought other half of dark Aero to work to wash down the Cipralex>

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Comments
  1. Ah sorry about DD’s makeup. I will take responsibility for that 😉

    Glad you’re enjoying the Aero Dark. Heaven in a plastic packet isn’t it!

    X

    PS Mornings are not my best time of day either. I was half an hour late for work AGAIN today. Still waiting to be shat out…

  2. Wenchy says:

    I prefer Prozac to Ciraplex but Ciraplex has it’s place. I get the anxiety fully – and it’s numbing effect, or rather crippling effect.

    Sometimes I really wish I liked wine and chocolate. Chocolate now and again, but wine just gives me a headache.

    …. and yes, if you have not taken your prescribed meds for at least 3 weeks, that GP visit is a total waste…. I’ve been on meds since I was 14… on and off… the longest off was 4 years… I don’t know why us depressive people do it. I mean if you have high blood pressure you would just take the bloody medication?

    • Wenchy I agree with you completely. I don’t know why we do it to ourselves. When I was trying to get pregnant I insisted on going off my meds even though my Dr advised against this. Biggest mistake of my life. My pregnancy was hell and I wound up back on meds (prozac) at 5 months pregnant after becoming suicidal. No way I’m stopping again. It’s just not worth it.

  3. diddy says:

    @isufferfromfms – DD loves the makeup. I personally could still see traces of the stuff after three DD half hearted attempts of getting the mascara and eyeliner off this morning. Let’s see what her new strict teacher says !

    @Wenchy. I know it’s so dof that I miss my meds and then blog my heart out about feeling blue . I really do get so busy sometimes that I forget and the next thing I know, three days have gone by.

  4. Diddy I used to forget all the time as well. I now have myself in a very strict bedtime routine with regards to taking my meds. Before I even think about climbing into bed I walk over to my dressing table and take my prozac, birth control and probiotic. I feel like a real old lady every time I do. In the morning I know to take my vitamins while I put my jewellery on.

    It just has to become part of your routine. Tie them to your toothbrush like people do with their BC. I reckon that taking your meds so erratically could actually make you feel worse.

    X

  5. diddy says:

    I’m sure you are right that if you take it erractically, it could be worse. You could be up and down like a yo-yo and left wondering WTF ! And then I wonder why I am “moody” ?! Doh !

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