Isolation…

Posted: March 29, 2011 in Anxiety, Depression, Medication, Oh woe is poor little me, Recovery

I am isolating abit at the moment. Retreated to a corner to lick my self inflicted wounds.

I also went to the dentist 4:30pm yesterday to get a chipped front tooth sorted out. ( I eventually plucked up the courage when there was a gap in Menopausal Boss’s “I’ll bite your head off mood”.)

I got the chipped tooth from biting my nails. So the dentist gave me a right mouthful about that – inbetween the usual moaning about why-don’t- you- floss- every- day- speech. He says it is rare to chip an actual tooth from nail biting !

I am back on Thursday again because apparently I grind my teeth at night too. My back teeth are disintergrating (I know this, but didn’t realise it was from nocturnal activities). 

But other than being in the corner and looking after myself – at the same time – I am rather embarrassed.

I have been feeling unreasonably down and miserable and my emotions have taken a nosedive because I am the one who did not put the required amount of medication into my gob when I am meant to.

I’m not feeling very verbal.

I’m not feeling very “sharing”.

Porra was out last night visiting Messy. And returned later on with Messy in tow.

Daughter Dear and I were both in a prickly mood before the boys came home. She because she had a touch of insomnia Sunday night and only fell asleep past 10pm. Me…..well…..because I am me !

When the boys came home late, I didn’t feel like hanging out with them. To be honest, one of my worst things to do is to sit on the couch watching Porra and Messy repeatedly flick through channels. Perhaps it’s a man thing. They flick at a rapid rate rarely resting on a channel.

<By the by, Porra really amps up the speed near my favourite channels so I cannot see if something is on that I might fancy>

Daughter Dear and I got into bed with our books.

I am half way through “Leaving the Saints”. An autobiography by Martha Beck. A Mormon who was sexually abused as a five year old.

Last night I got to the rough parts where she remembers the sexual abuse for the first time. She started having flashbacks in her 30’s. I felt nothing reading it. No emotion. I was surprised that I didn’t shed a tear or two.

We fell asleep early.

It was good. Just what the shrink would have ordered.

 

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Comments
  1. Lovely photo!

    This too shall pass. Just give it a couple of days X

  2. diddy says:

    Thanks K.
    Early night is sometimes just what you need !
    D
    x

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