An ode to Crazy Dave. Forum recovery friends.

Posted: August 25, 2011 in Anxiety, Depression, Recovery, Trying to be a good parent !

I frequent two or three forums. There used to be a really really excellent adult child forum (adult child world service organisation) which got me through some really rough times, but alas it closed down in terms of new posts and threads. I would hang on every word that was posted back to me. It was my lifeline in my time of need. And I have had many times of mental and emotional need !

I got to know cyber profiles and sometimes looked up at them as mentors or cyber sponsors. One such person being “Crazy Dave” (strange. I have just made the connection that Dave was my stepdad’s name). 

I still have one of his posts (that obviously struck a cord with me) stuck in my daily reader.

Crazy Dave even set up and invited me to an inner child private google group. There was about ten of us from the adult child forum on there.

But alas I didn’t keep it up.

<perhaps I should email him or Elizabeth and see what they are up to cyberwise. Perhaps they have found a new forum for adult children ? I think I will do that>

I know forums are not for everyone – especially deep ones about abuse or mental illness, but I like them. And I would reccommend them as “free help”. I find them useful. I like being able to write my shit anonymously and getting objective feedback from people in the same boat.

Usually in the cruise ship as me, but miles away in Aus or the US (no danger of stalking !)

I really don’t need feedback from Monica who has been married for 25 years who has 3 golden blonde children, drives a silver 4 X 4 and thinks it is a bad day if Woolies is on strike.

Similarly I don’t need feedback from a 26 year old wet behind the ears counsellor who thinks pre-marital sex is a sin (been there done that, got the bill).

I want feedback from people who have been there, done that and seen a pedophile’s porn stash at age 8. People who cannot touch their partners manly bits without being dragged back to 1979. 

In a prior post I put it out there that I am concerned about Tweenie and her anxiety. I want to find ways for her/us to manage it.

I can see from forum posting and feedback that I perhaps have analysed Tweenie myself and “transferred” my shit. Basing her anxiety on what MY experiences are.

I am assuming that because Tweenie has anxiety that she is 12 year old me.

Just because Tweenie and I have the same resulting disorder which is anxiety. It does not mean that our paths leading up to said anxiety are paralell.

The experiences of others that I have received back is that Tweenie is Tweenie and Diddy is Diddy. And Tweenie needs to be seen by her ADD specialist and her own independant therapist who will diagnose her stuff.

Her stuff is her stuff and may be different to my stuff.

Because of 30 years of digging around in my own brain, I have automatically assumed that Tweenie’s anxiety are direct results of:

Abandonment issues with her father

Childhood trauma watching me go through nervous breakdowns

Adult child of alcoholic issues (her dad being an addict and me having alcohol abuse problems making her a huge candidate to hold that placard)

I might be right. I might be wrong. But it is for the professionals to diagnose. Not me.

I am grateful I have been shown these nuggets of wisdom.

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