You are the weakest link – goodbye

Posted: February 8, 2012 in Me and alcohol, Recovery

My beloved nearly five year old Honda Jazz died on me a week ago.

So I have been without four wheels for a week. The fix was for me to ride my bike to work with a complicated wardrobe situation ensuing. Choose clothes at 6am without a chance of “trying on”.

I dislike riding my bike to work. Not because of the danger of lane splitting down the middle of traffic on the highway. Not because accident prone Porra has beloved Tweenie in his road care, but because the chances of having a bad hair or bad clothes day are that much higher.

I wear my protective gear – jacket, pants and biker boots. I pack my work clothes for the day in my bike backpack. And that is it. I am stuck with those clothes for the day.

Even if I look like the Queen Mother on acid.

No clothes back peddling allowed.

Stuck.

No major insights on the am-I-an-alcoholic question. I have been without my favourite tipple – wine of any sort – for a month today.

In 30 days I’ve had two Captain Morgan’s and coke (the premixed variety lest I am heavy handed with the dop) and one Margarita at mexican dinner last week.

Each time – yes, it was hard not to have a second (or third) drink. I really wanted to have more……..but I didn’t.

It has not been that hard, but mentally I am very aware I am giving up something so I find myself craving sweeties and biscuits. I am not craving alcohol and substituting it with sweets……….but the feeling of I need to treat myself is there.

I feel the need to sooth myself because I am going without something else.

The thing about looking into alcoholism or alcoholics is that all the famous ones are the type that get fuck’d drunk most nights and need a minature vodka on their cornflakes  to settle the shakes.

I’m reading Anne Robinson’s bio (she of Weakest Link fame) and she was a vodka on the cornflakes type of gal so I’ve been unable to compare drinking habits there.

A very interesting book so far though.

Looks like the first book this year I will actually finish.

Investigation continues.

 

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Comments
  1. Vannessa says:

    I suppose you don’t live out in the Blouberg / Tableview area else I could give you a lift. Depends on your hours too I suppose. I told myself that Feb was going to be a detox month for me, no alcohol and no coffee. Yeah right! I did not even last a week, so well done to you! And I don’t consider myself anywhere near an alcoholic, just social drinking. But we entertain a lot at home and it just doesn’t seem right to not have some wine with everyone else. And when we go out I am usually the one that has to drive home so can’t drink so when we are at home I drink. Not copiously, you know, but enough to get tipsy. Hmm, makes one think…
    Anyway, good luck with the investigations and the drinking abstinence.

    • diddy says:

      Hi Vanessa

      The car is fixed now. Oh joy ! Thanks for the offer though…..

      I’m also only a social drinker………but I usually over do it…….

      Alcohol has never given me anything positive in my life. it’s only ever taken away……this has been making me think.

      D
      x

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